The Maeatae...They dwell in tents, naked and unshod!

A version of this article appeared first in the Stirling Observer.

As you all know the Romans tried three times to conquer Scotland, each time marching past Stirling. The third attempt around 208 was led by the Emperor Septimius Severus. He brought his whole family with him including his two children, famously his son Caracalla would become one of Rome’s worst tyrants and killed his brother Geta, whose face is erased below.

The Severan Tondo shows Septimius Severus, his wife Julia Domna, their younger son Caracalla (lower right of picture) and the obliterated image of his murdered co-heir, Geta. Staatliche Museen zu Berlin.

The family stayed at Craiganrhall on the Keir Estate and are widely assumed to have used the wee annex.

On their travels they held Scotland’s first recorded dinner party (probably in Perthshire) with native leader Agentocoxos who’s unamed wife (the second woman in Scottish history) has the following spikey exchange with Julia Domna the emperor’s wife. The Empress, proud of the moral principles that Roman women adhered to, was to allow herself to joke about freedom in sexual relations in Britain. Barbarian chief’s wife replied: “We fulfill the demands of nature in a much better way than do you Roman women; for we consort openly with the best men, whereas you let yourselves be debauched in secret by the vilest”. This was the response of the Caledonian woman.

This invasion was detailed by Roman historian Cassius Dio who provided the first details of Stirlingshire and Perthshire as well as the local tribes the Maeatae and the Caledonians. These names survive in modern placenames: Dumyat (fort of the Maeatae) and Dunkeld (fort of the Caledonians). Cassius said your ancestors (not mine …I’m from Leith) ‘inhabit wild and waterless mountains and desolate and swampy plains, and possess neither walls, cities, nor tilled fields, but live on their flocks, wild game, and certain fruits. They dwell in tents, naked and unshod, possess their women in common, and in common rear all the offspring. …..For arms they have a shield and a short spear, with a bronze apple attached to the end of the spear-shaft, so that when it is shaken it may clash and terrify the enemy; and they also have daggers. They can endure hunger and cold and any kind of hardship; for they plunge into the swamps and exist there for many days with only their heads above water, and in the forests they support themselves upon bark and roots, and for all emergencies they prepare a certain kind of food, the eating of a small portion of which, the size of a bean, prevents them from feeling either hunger or thirst.’

Now while a lot of this seems nonsense the spears they describe have been found and also carved on stones. This carving of a naked warrior was found near Perth and is called the Tulloch Stone, there are several found across Scotland north of the Forth, all naked and with the same pose. It’s not clear if this figure is one of the Maeatae or perhaps once of their Gods, I like to think it’s a warrior resisting Rome and her legions!